How sad is all around. No thoughts and no emotions, no suffering and experiences. You are along. Darkness around, everyone is asleep, and only a hard working steam train drums frenzied tap with its wheels. Been alone it is time to talk with your inner self, to raise the issue that makes you wonder. We hesitate some thoughts, another – fear to remember. Some memories scare others delight, most have already been thought out to the holes. The brain is looking for a way out of this puzzle, but to no avail. By this, your insomnia getting harder, you lie staring blankly into the darkness trying to unravel it’s order. Whistle of the steam train pulls you out of hibernation, returning to the world full of household entities. You are irritated and concerned about your insomnia …
Anxiety is not the best way to relax, or to analyze yourself. Close your eyes and relax. Try to stop listening to the world around you. Imagine that the sounds are heard from somewhere very far away, and mean nothing to you. Now believe in what you imagine. You are surrounded by peace and quiet. Your body is simply a space. Now imagine you as a water, fill a large open tank to the brim. Please note that you can become a man only when the train stopped, until that time, you do not exist as a person. Train swaying you, trying to burst out. The stronger shock leads to the greater likelihood of your spilling. You respond to all banks and wiggling. Concentrate so that your negative emotions surfaced on top, and the most vivid and fond memories and emotions sank to the bottom. Direct yourself on ensuring that all your problems surfaced of your consciousness, on the very edge of you. Let them float like drops of fat on your surface. Move it to the edge of the tank and spill it out as soon as possible, let them dry in the aisle between shelves, these mute remnants of the past. Get rid of all this scum, get rid of all the debris that floats in you and does not give a carefree life with fresh ideas and good memories.
You need to be focused, because your energy is not infinite and must be restored. Splashing out negative energy, you lose part of your total energy, respectively becoming weaker. Together with the negative flow you splashes out a piece of yourself and if you do not focus on balance, it is possible to spend wasting your essence, your inner world. You do not want to lose it? Your train speed up and still more on the turns and bumps railroad tracks shakes your fragile walls. You overtakes concern for yourself. You are trying to stretch your arms and legs at the walls of tank, but you have no arms and legs. You are water. You are chaotic mass of moving molecules.
The next stage is panic. You shout, hysteric … but have no mouth too. Indulging in hysterics giving you dissipating of your attention and more of your particles lying on the floor. You are dying, but you can do nothing about it. Calm down, relax and keep your balance.
That’s all. You are calm or rather to say so weak that you cannot already nervous. You will not spill even at moderate shocks, and the train already left to some direct line and slowed, the station is coming soon, perhaps. You can hear conversations in the aisle and feel like people are starting to move towards the exit, salvation soon. Your train will stop, and you can return to the old shell of a man. You are tired and exhausted but survived. Alive, to be more precise in saying.
You thought it would be an easy way to balance and freedom from routine problems and negative emotions, but it and turned to the struggle for life with defiant elements using last strength. It always happens so. As soon as you want peace and prosperity, trying to do everything to achieve this, so once you meet with a million obstacles, passing that you do not want to have the purpose of your journey. You just want to live. To live as before, or even slightly worse. You’re happy to broke into the flow of past life. And you follow it with no trying to reach an idyll, as familiar with its price.
… But what the hell! The train slows down sharply, glass bottle falls down from the table… hit the edge of your tank… breaks the wall… and all of you spread on the floor… what a sad end. What were you thinking about before?!
He’s already dead … but you! be careful, think twice before start of any contrive…