Birth

Morning. Grey, dark, unfriendly. More precisely it was December morning. Sad concrete was freezing my feet, sleet was hitting into the face, trifling my huge white shirt. I should not say that the shirt was white, rather grey or dirty grey, moist and heavy. Small traces of dirt on the my right side. Because of the long sleeves, I did not see my hands, but for some reason they ached. I stood and stared straight ahead. The world was divided into two halves. First one was full of lights and swarming of barely awake people, in the second madly grey void, slowly gaining a lighter shade. I stood motionless, staring in front of me for so long time, enough to become accustomed to the crows, which I meanly scared at first. They circled around friendly and sometimes sit next to me, croaking something cheerful. I had no ideas. It was a huge lack of understanding of the silent world in the first half, and the uncomfortable feeling of resentment to the second half. Moreover I realize only two things could be right there, at that merge point of two halves. Either light or darkness. And still I had the feeling that both can exist exactly at that point, not elsewhere. Both continuous and simultaneous. But it was just feelings. I left all my thoughts down the way to my separation deck. Now, the concrete ledge of the building became a kind of an obelisk over the grave of my thoughts. Only feelings ahead.

I have outstretched my hands, look deep into the eyes of horizon and collapsed forward strictly. A sharp cry burst out from my inner silence, and ripped a dull noise of both halves of the world, forcing them to shut up for a moment. An echo of this cry break into the walls of nearby houses and grew into a disorderly crows croaking … but it has no matter for me now…

I was stubbornly flapping away my large black wings toward the point of the beginning of the universe. My eyes firmly aim it, and solid black beak was cutting this resilient air like a knife.

I’ll come back soon to tell you about this place.

I hope you have enough time to realize what are thoughts and what are your feelings.

What it this all about.

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